For those of you who may still follow me after my long absence, I’m back and ready to get back to some new topics. My life is chaotic at best, my mind is completely off right now, and my heart is trying to heal. Not that any of this truly matters, but I guess splitting with your wife of 13 yrs will do these things.

I have been trying many things to keep my mind busy, but it is just too powerful. I can drink myself into oblivion, and I still only have one thought, why has my life gone on this path? I can surf the internet all day, and at the end of the day, the same thought occurs! It seems no matter what I do, I look backwards now and wonder what I did so wrong along the way to make my life what it is right now. We do reap what we sow, so I’m wondering, just how bad were the seeds that I planted?

But, as with true S.Taylor form, I don’t stay in these moods for long. I’ve been here for 2 months now, by FAR the longest I have ever been in this state of mind. I’m now getting back to looking forward, life is not so bleak. I’m not a horrible person, I’m a good person who has put himself in a bad situation. It will do me no good to beat myself up forever, because the present and future is all that matters. I cannot and would not, change the past. I will know the good things that are just around the corner.

The places I have been in the past two months and the things I’ve done, I’ll keep off the public blog but will give answers to those that ask. Let’s just say, anyone in their right mind would wonder if I was trying to commit suicide by default. And I will say, the thought of death or dying myself, has no more emotion for me than sitting down to have a beer. I seem to have reached a new plateau of thoughtlessness and I, at this time, genuinely could care less if I died tomorrow or at age 100. I have decided that I will no longer be bound by limits that I or anyone else have placed on me. I have never agreed with the conservative society with all it’s rules on how things should be and what you should do, I’m going to do what I want to do even more aggressively than what I used to.

I just got a job offer yesterday, it is in Wilmington, which is somewhere I do not want to be, but, it is work. It is sales and I will make the best of it. It’s been a long time since I’ve been in sales, I’ll have to brush up the skills a bit, but I believe I will be the once famous powerhouse salesman again in no time. ( How’d you like the arrogance there, see, I am getting better) LOL!!!

My biggest dilemma now is, where do I want to live? I have definitely ruled out  Augusta for many reasons: 1. No coastline to visit, 2: Parents in the area, 3: Dreary ass weather, 4: Back to number 2, parents have become VERY opinionated and negative and they have lived here all their life, I do not want to become like them AT ALL!!!

My preference will be Florida, somewhere. I like the Southern Florida area, but would prefer west coast, not east coast. It looks as though I will be locked up in NC at least for a little bit until I get my feet back on the ground. And get this, after months of searching for a decent job, I get one, and it just so happens to be selling life insurance and annuities, and immediately my Dad says turn it down because Obama is ruining that industry.  $600.00 per week to train for 7 weeks, I think I’ll take it for now, make the most of it and see where it goes. If they pay $600.00 per week to train, I’m sure the real commissions will be wonderfully surprising!

Bye for now, will write more later on my NEW life and all the adventures I know I will encounter!!

     I posted a comment on the Care 2 network concerning the delimma of whether or not obese travelers should pay for two seats if they cannot fit into one. My comment was Yes. It is a choice to be obese. Since that time I have gotten a lot of flack about this issue. So much so that it took me several weeks to even decide to write this post. Being true to my nature, I have to express myself here.

     Alcoholism has been tied to genetics. Those that are and those that sympathize, alcoholics, say that it runs in the family. Drug addicts are so because they are predispositioned to be since their parents were before, during and after birth. So here it could be genetic or simply an addiction that you had no choice in, because you were born that way, addicted.

     Now it has been decided that obesity is genetic. It also runs in the family. I say this is the biggest bunch of crap I have ever heard. Scientists are on the search now for the “Obesity Gene”, but at the moment the best they can say is that obesity tends to run in the family. Now that I agree with. I think environmental factors are huge in determining your size, due to the fact that you must do what your parents say and eat everything on your plate. Then parents are too weak to say no when you ask for desert. Not only do they give it, they give a lot of it. Too busy to cook, That is what McDonalds is for. Don’t want to entertain the kids, sit them in front of the TV with a movie or Xbox. Get where I am going with this.

     So, in youth, Obesity is different from alcoholism and drug addiction. As of yet, most parents, will not give you drugs or alcohol. Psychological factors contribute to all three. The more disturbed you life while growing up, the more you will tend toward one or more of the three. Depression and stress are leading causes of obesity and eating disorders. Indeed, obesity can be traced to behavioral or psychological difficulties. Contrary to popular myth, this does not indicate weakness or lack of will power. Do you want to hear that again: “……this does not indicate weakness or lack of willpower.”

     I would never deny that physical conditions exist that do cause weight gain and overall obesity. Cushing Syndrome, hormones deficiencies, and hypothyroidism are 3 and I’m sure I didn’t get them all. And then there are too the antidepressants which can cause a slowed metabolism with increased appetite. A very small percentage of overweight people can claim any of these physical conditions.

     This leads me to my justification that it is a choice. Alcoholics, genetic or not, have facilities and specialists available for treatment, psychological and sometimes physical. A choice was made to enter this treatment. Upon completion, a choice continues to be made not to drink. Sometimes, and a lot of times, myself included, alcoholics make the choice on their own not to indulge in drinking. The reasons they make this decision are irrelevant, the point is that they decided to make the change.

     Drug addicts have at their disposal, the facilities and specialists, to help them get rid of the addiction. A choice was made to enter treatment and the choice, upon completion, continues to be made not to take drugs. Again, some addicts make the choice all on their own.

     Obese persons have the facilities, gyms, weightloss clubs, doctors, etc to rid themselves of the pounds they carry with them. Many obese people have made the choice not to be fat anymore. Some obese persons have made the choice all on their own to change their diet and excercise habits to lose the weight. Jared, Richard Simmons, and Valerie Bertinelli are just 3 of the many people who made the decision and did it. I have seen with my own eyes, obese parents with skinny kids, so is it genetic.

     Alcoholism, drug addiction, and obesity have and continue to be tied to genetics. In my opinion, if alcoholics and drug addicts can make the choice and succeed at ridding themselves of their addiction, so then can obese persons rid themselves of the addiction to food. When it comes right down to the wire, you make the choice of what you eat, fast food or fruits and veggies. You make the choice of how much you eat, small portions or every course including dessert. You make the choice as to whether you watch TV for one hour or excercise for one hour. You, obese person, and you alone make these decisions, it is your choices that make you obese.

     Please understand, those with a true medical inability to control your metabolic rate or cell structure, I am not speaking to you. I wish you the best. I am speaking to the millions, probably over one billion, people in this world that want someone or something to blame their condition on besides themselves. Having become a society of convenience which has contributed greatly to this delimma, we also have transfered that convenience to our mind. It is easier to have a scapegoat than to accept the responsibility for your own actions.

     I am not speaking from a distance here. I was once addicted to crystal meth, snorted it, sold it, baked it. No one in my family was a drug addict, so where did it come from. I chose to do it. I drank for many years, and I don’t mean small amounts. When you wake at six in the morning to get ready for work, and your breakfast is a 16 ounce budweiser, you are an alcoholic. To drink over a case (24) of beer a day was childs play. People used to ask me “What do you drink?”. My response was alcohol. It didn’t matter what kind, it didn’t matter who was buying. I drank like this for almost 20 years. Why, I chose to.

     I was at one time overweight. My BMI said I was obese. I was 5′ 7″ and weighed almost 200 pounds. I now weigh 170, mostly muscle, I drink maybe one bottle of wine once every three months, and I have been drug free since I was 20 and I am now 42. And a psychologist during my treatments for alcoholism deemed me to have a psychological disorder, simply put, an addictive personality. It doesn’t matter what I get into, I get in deep. So when you respond, keep in mind I have been there, done that, and made changes in my life to overcome all three. All by my own choice.

     I welcome any and all arguments to the contrary except, “It is not my fault…….”. Should I see that in your post, I will simply delete it and move on. Should you have a valid argument, my mind is open to being changed.

http://www.thepetitionsite.com/2/stop-dissection-of-live-animals

#10 expanding and perpetuating the use of racial preferences
#9 creating new constitutional rights to physician-assisted suicide and human cloning
#8 expanding judicial oversight of military detentions and CIA interrogations
#7 prohibiting tuition vouchers for religious schools
#6 banning the death penalty
#5 requiring taxpayers to fund essentially unlimited abortion rights
#4 creating new constitutional rights to massive government welfare and medical care programs
#3 stripping “under God” from the Pledge of Allegiance
#2 eroding property rights
#1 ordering all 50 states to bless gay marriage

 

     Is there anything you Republicans aren’t afraid of? If so, please comment for me so I can learn. Fear, fear, fear, fear is all that you preach. Take care of me and my own, is all that you believe. There are 6 billion people on this planet, all with varying beliefs. What makes you so much more special? If American, the melting pot of the world, was run by republican philosophy only, there would be nothing but filthy rich white folks living here. I am a white man, and I would hate to live in that reality.

     Man has had a selective focus on character from the beginning. In the middle ages, it became a way of doing business. Honor and character, if not found, would not be returned. Then came chivalry, whereby even if a man was dishonorable, others would still be honorable themselves. Nowadays, the question has truly become, “is this character, or am I being duped?”

     I’ve always prided myself on being abe to read people so as not to get duped. Having been a salesman for so long, I became very good at doing so. So good in fact, I was generally never wrong (97%). Then something happened, I began to let down my guard and trust people and developed a little scheme to figure people out. Usually people will ask something of you, give more than what was asked for and allow them to make all the gratuitous promises that most people will not fulfill in return. If they return the favor, then thy are honorable people. If not, then I know and will treat them differently from then on.

     Unfortunately, most people are not honorable, but some are so sneaky as to make themselves appear so, then stab you in the back. My co-worker is one of those people. Upon all meeting with him, he seems like such a great guy. Doing favors for you, standing up for you when the chips are down, aleays there for you. Behind your back it is another story altogether. He is 100% CYA (cover your own ass).

     Well, I’ve known this for sometime, so I’ve been sure to not cause any waves and stay out of the limelight. He is so dishonorable, that he is stabbing you anyway. This past job we were on took longer than expected. He planned it poorly, materials came in waves (getting only half what is needed for any project), he only worked on this job 1.5 days, and although the house didn’t change from the beginning, he forgot to put things on the to-do list so the list kept getting longer and longer. Since the timeline laid out was at the beginning, of course we ran over schedule.

     Not to keep bashing him, you can see where I am going. He clearly was a major factor in the job being behind. This is where the story gets good. My partner and I had some days off during the job, myself 2 days and him the equivalent of 1 (2 half days). Could you even imagine that over the course of 3.5 weeks, the bosses were led to believe that these 3 days of missed labor caused the job to run over by 1.5 weeks. It was all our fault.

     I found out by needing materials and having to purchase them myself, since he was unable to do his job and get them for us. When I returned to the office for reimbursement 1.5 hours later, he was still there sitting on his ass doing nothing. When I made a comment about it, I saw it, that one thing no one can deny when it happens. Their face and eyes are the exact same as an animal when surprised and fearful. On humans it is a sight to see, because they struggle so hard to hide it and you can see their veins bulge from the effort.

     A comment was then made by our office manager, in reference to when the job would be finished. As she rubbed her eyes and forehead she said, “You guys are killing me!” I immediately retorted, “Me and Dale?” And wouldn’t you know her answer was yes. I was livid and proceeded to tell her just why the job was behind and He (my supervisor) was scared to death of what I was saying and immediately started chiming in and backtracking so as to cover his ass.

     Do I take this up the chain of command? I think I will simply because this is the third time that I know of him doing this to me. This time I going to use the skills I’ve so long ago put aside, and I will destroy him. Just as in the days of chivalry and honor, I will beat down the dishonorable man by letting the world know what he is about.

BEWARE OF HE WHO TRIES TO POISON YOUR MIND AGAINST ANOTHER UNDER THE PRETENSE OF HELPING YOU. THE CHANCES ARE A THOUSAND TO ONE HE IS TRYING TO HELP HIMSELF.

Napolean Hill

     Well here it is another week. I’ve learned that if I don’t watch the news, I don’t have as much to say. I think the news is relevant in our lives, but useless. Most news is tainted and the truth lies somewhere buried on someones desk because they were paid not to print it. If you watch other countries news, you find a whole new perspective on how things truly are.

     As mentors always say, there is more than one side to the story. We should take the time to learn the other sides of thought. I don’t mean the radicals side, because that is what we get every day, I mean the real mans story. The one, who like most of us, is affected by what goes on and is not an active player.

     What is the true agenda of the news media? Are they really trying to get the facts out, or simply trying to twist the facts for better ratings and more sales of their particular media? I fear we are becoming to attached to the rhetoric of extremists. This would make us no better than Islamic extremists. We hear of shootings and other deaths related to the hype the media blares out. Yet the media gets little blame.

     Personally, I am wary of the man!

Doctor: Lack of medical helicopter cost actress – MSN Movies News.

     I was just sitting her looking through the news and I am saddened by an unexpected death of someone like Natasha Richardson. She was reported to be a good person and very giving.

     Then you have the doctors, emergency personnel and the ski instructor all trying to save their own ass and say “I did everything I could, it wasn’t my fault.” Of course the ski instructor immediately claims she rushed to the scene and vehemently urged Mrs. Richardson to go the hospital to no avail. (Obviously not her fault). Then comes the emergency personnel, what could they do, spend a half hour diagnosing that she had a problem (I believe that was already determined), then proceeded to take her to a hospital that had no head trauma specialty in their repertoire. So now we will spend another two hours to get her to the correct hospital. (Couldn’t possibly be their fault)

     Then come the beloved doctors, the fought diligently and fevershly, but to no avail. (Definately not their fault)

     Upon doing some research on epideral hematomas, I found this:

Mortality/Morbidity

Mortality rate associated with epidural hematoma has been estimated to be 5-50%.

• The level of consciousness prior to surgery has been correlated with mortality rate: 0% for awake patients, 9% for obtunded patients, and 20% for comatose patients.
• Bilateral intracranial epidural hematoma has a mortality rate of 15-20%.
• Posterior fossa epidural hematoma has a mortality rate of 26%.

As you can see, the highest mortality rate is the posterior fossa at 26%, but even a patient who is comatose (Natasha), mortality is at 20%. So now I ask you, this doctor, Montreal’s top head trauma doctor, who by the way, says “It’s impossible for me to comment specifically about her case, but what I could say is … “, is really going to try to blame this on a lack of a trauma helicopter???

     I think it is appalling that all these professionals could not stop something that at best has a 26% mortality rate, not to mention with all their rhetoric, she was injured on Monday and did not die until Wednesday, and you want to say 4 hours determined her life. I’m no neurosurgeon, but it seems the operation, although risky is still a fairly simple one. That is only my opinion. Quit trying to put the blame somewhere else and tell these people to take responsibility. Or better yet, realize, when it is your time, nothing will stop it from coming.