For those of you who may still follow me after my long absence, I’m back and ready to get back to some new topics. My life is chaotic at best, my mind is completely off right now, and my heart is trying to heal. Not that any of this truly matters, but I guess splitting with your wife of 13 yrs will do these things.

I have been trying many things to keep my mind busy, but it is just too powerful. I can drink myself into oblivion, and I still only have one thought, why has my life gone on this path? I can surf the internet all day, and at the end of the day, the same thought occurs! It seems no matter what I do, I look backwards now and wonder what I did so wrong along the way to make my life what it is right now. We do reap what we sow, so I’m wondering, just how bad were the seeds that I planted?

But, as with true S.Taylor form, I don’t stay in these moods for long. I’ve been here for 2 months now, by FAR the longest I have ever been in this state of mind. I’m now getting back to looking forward, life is not so bleak. I’m not a horrible person, I’m a good person who has put himself in a bad situation. It will do me no good to beat myself up forever, because the present and future is all that matters. I cannot and would not, change the past. I will know the good things that are just around the corner.

The places I have been in the past two months and the things I’ve done, I’ll keep off the public blog but will give answers to those that ask. Let’s just say, anyone in their right mind would wonder if I was trying to commit suicide by default. And I will say, the thought of death or dying myself, has no more emotion for me than sitting down to have a beer. I seem to have reached a new plateau of thoughtlessness and I, at this time, genuinely could care less if I died tomorrow or at age 100. I have decided that I will no longer be bound by limits that I or anyone else have placed on me. I have never agreed with the conservative society with all it’s rules on how things should be and what you should do, I’m going to do what I want to do even more aggressively than what I used to.

I just got a job offer yesterday, it is in Wilmington, which is somewhere I do not want to be, but, it is work. It is sales and I will make the best of it. It’s been a long time since I’ve been in sales, I’ll have to brush up the skills a bit, but I believe I will be the once famous powerhouse salesman again in no time. ( How’d you like the arrogance there, see, I am getting better) LOL!!!

My biggest dilemma now is, where do I want to live? I have definitely ruled out  Augusta for many reasons: 1. No coastline to visit, 2: Parents in the area, 3: Dreary ass weather, 4: Back to number 2, parents have become VERY opinionated and negative and they have lived here all their life, I do not want to become like them AT ALL!!!

My preference will be Florida, somewhere. I like the Southern Florida area, but would prefer west coast, not east coast. It looks as though I will be locked up in NC at least for a little bit until I get my feet back on the ground. And get this, after months of searching for a decent job, I get one, and it just so happens to be selling life insurance and annuities, and immediately my Dad says turn it down because Obama is ruining that industry.  $600.00 per week to train for 7 weeks, I think I’ll take it for now, make the most of it and see where it goes. If they pay $600.00 per week to train, I’m sure the real commissions will be wonderfully surprising!

Bye for now, will write more later on my NEW life and all the adventures I know I will encounter!!

     My dog Baron is a great companion. He has been there for us many times as a friend and protector. Most of the protecting has been from bugs, but he does it without question. As a friend, he listens intently, knowing exactly what you are saying. He does not need doggy speak or shortened sentences.

     He came from nowhere, appearing one day on our lawn with mother and 7 other siblings. We knew the neighbor who was raising them and did not want any harm to come to them, so we took them in. This was Friday and we did not connect with the neighbor until Sunday afternoon. I cannot describe the chaos that ensued that weekend. Trying to housetrain 8 puppies so your house is not destroyed, is a chore in itself.

     We were given the choice of puppies as a sort of payment for protecting them. We chose the one who had been at our feet the whole time. He was very docile and seemed to understand the brevity of the situation and did not want to add to the chaos. Nevertheless, we named him Baron von Chaos.

     When I say he is intelligent, I mean brilliant. He house trained himself. He took a dump in the house, turned and smelled it, then proceeded to go outside. I told him that was the right thing to do if he had to go. He never used the bathroom in the house again. We aquired a bassett hound at one point, she came out of nowhere too. One day we could not find the hound, so I asked Baron where she was. He had never heard these words before, but took off through the woods. I followed and guess what we found, the bassett hound. He has through the years astounded us with his extreme intelligence and continues to do so in his old age.

     The protection he has given us, is mostly in his size. He weighs 140 now, and is almost 3 feet tall. The most prevalent comment we hear is, “That’s the biggest Shepherd I’ve ever seen!” My phrase is, “I wish I had a dime for every time I’ve heard that!”

     His muscles are extremely impressive. I never understood how people could get mauled by a single dog, then I saw him attack another dog, territorial dispute, and in two lunges the other dog was bleeding profusely and simply trying to get away. His jaws are so strong he literally crushes the interior of a golf ball without taking the skin off, all in one bite. I knew then to respect him and never treat him bad.

     With all that said, he is the most gentle dog I’ve ever had the pleasure to know. He can eat from a fork and his teeth will never touch the fork. When eating from your hand, he can sense your fingers, and if he touches one he immediately retracts until he knows you are ok. He has played with puppies and kittens and I have never heard a yelp from them even when playing rough. It’s as if he knows his size and strength and is very adept at knowing where his body is at all times.

     My best friends life is drawing to an end and it pains me greatly. I fear that his heart will outlast his body. Nothing is going to hurt me more than having to make that decision. I don’t know if I can.