Just read the most interesting article, http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/8132857.stm . The Canadians have just figured out that if you are a negative person, just telling yourself to be happy through mantras will not make you happy, it will probably make you more depressed.

I’m 42, and for 24 of those years I have followed some of the best self help experts in the world. They all knew then that just talking to yourself will not do it. Talking is 7% of communication, tonality is 38%, the other 55% is physiology. To tell yourself that you are happy, grateful, superior, or whatever uplifting phrase you choose to use, must be said with conviction, belief that it is true, and followed by actions that support that new belief and emotion. I can tell myself that I am an astronaut. I can even say it with conviction and fake myself into believing it. However, the moment someone asks me to pilot the space shuttle, my world crumbles around me. Then I feel depressed, scared, embarrased, guilt, etc (all bad emotions), due to the fact I took no action to make my new belief a reality.

Personally, I dove into self help with no guidance other than “Unlimited Power” by Anthony Robbins. For me it was perfect, it read just like a text book,or instruction manual, if you will. That is how my brain works, very logical and methodical. Today, the self help world has gotten diluted with many people who have no idea what self help really is. It took me many years to realize just how to effectively make changes that last. My initial changes did not last. I wasn’t living the life to support my changes. And now too many self helpers think it is OK just to tell someone to tell themselves, “I am happy”.

Now, people looking to self help, should get guidance from someone who has been there, with lots of experience. I advise them to check out the person they are going to confide in. Just as the fact you would not trust your physiology to a quack doctor, definately don’t trust your brain to a quack life coach. They can cause considerably more pain than the physician, because they will create for you a life of complete turmoil, and it may become irreparable.

If you should still choose to do it on your own, remember this above all else, “You must walk the talk!”, if you don’t, you will not achieve your goal, no matter what the goal is.

As far as the Canadian researchers, sorry it took you so long to figure this out! I can give you some lessons if you like!

     I posted a comment on the Care 2 network concerning the delimma of whether or not obese travelers should pay for two seats if they cannot fit into one. My comment was Yes. It is a choice to be obese. Since that time I have gotten a lot of flack about this issue. So much so that it took me several weeks to even decide to write this post. Being true to my nature, I have to express myself here.

     Alcoholism has been tied to genetics. Those that are and those that sympathize, alcoholics, say that it runs in the family. Drug addicts are so because they are predispositioned to be since their parents were before, during and after birth. So here it could be genetic or simply an addiction that you had no choice in, because you were born that way, addicted.

     Now it has been decided that obesity is genetic. It also runs in the family. I say this is the biggest bunch of crap I have ever heard. Scientists are on the search now for the “Obesity Gene”, but at the moment the best they can say is that obesity tends to run in the family. Now that I agree with. I think environmental factors are huge in determining your size, due to the fact that you must do what your parents say and eat everything on your plate. Then parents are too weak to say no when you ask for desert. Not only do they give it, they give a lot of it. Too busy to cook, That is what McDonalds is for. Don’t want to entertain the kids, sit them in front of the TV with a movie or Xbox. Get where I am going with this.

     So, in youth, Obesity is different from alcoholism and drug addiction. As of yet, most parents, will not give you drugs or alcohol. Psychological factors contribute to all three. The more disturbed you life while growing up, the more you will tend toward one or more of the three. Depression and stress are leading causes of obesity and eating disorders. Indeed, obesity can be traced to behavioral or psychological difficulties. Contrary to popular myth, this does not indicate weakness or lack of will power. Do you want to hear that again: “……this does not indicate weakness or lack of willpower.”

     I would never deny that physical conditions exist that do cause weight gain and overall obesity. Cushing Syndrome, hormones deficiencies, and hypothyroidism are 3 and I’m sure I didn’t get them all. And then there are too the antidepressants which can cause a slowed metabolism with increased appetite. A very small percentage of overweight people can claim any of these physical conditions.

     This leads me to my justification that it is a choice. Alcoholics, genetic or not, have facilities and specialists available for treatment, psychological and sometimes physical. A choice was made to enter this treatment. Upon completion, a choice continues to be made not to drink. Sometimes, and a lot of times, myself included, alcoholics make the choice on their own not to indulge in drinking. The reasons they make this decision are irrelevant, the point is that they decided to make the change.

     Drug addicts have at their disposal, the facilities and specialists, to help them get rid of the addiction. A choice was made to enter treatment and the choice, upon completion, continues to be made not to take drugs. Again, some addicts make the choice all on their own.

     Obese persons have the facilities, gyms, weightloss clubs, doctors, etc to rid themselves of the pounds they carry with them. Many obese people have made the choice not to be fat anymore. Some obese persons have made the choice all on their own to change their diet and excercise habits to lose the weight. Jared, Richard Simmons, and Valerie Bertinelli are just 3 of the many people who made the decision and did it. I have seen with my own eyes, obese parents with skinny kids, so is it genetic.

     Alcoholism, drug addiction, and obesity have and continue to be tied to genetics. In my opinion, if alcoholics and drug addicts can make the choice and succeed at ridding themselves of their addiction, so then can obese persons rid themselves of the addiction to food. When it comes right down to the wire, you make the choice of what you eat, fast food or fruits and veggies. You make the choice of how much you eat, small portions or every course including dessert. You make the choice as to whether you watch TV for one hour or excercise for one hour. You, obese person, and you alone make these decisions, it is your choices that make you obese.

     Please understand, those with a true medical inability to control your metabolic rate or cell structure, I am not speaking to you. I wish you the best. I am speaking to the millions, probably over one billion, people in this world that want someone or something to blame their condition on besides themselves. Having become a society of convenience which has contributed greatly to this delimma, we also have transfered that convenience to our mind. It is easier to have a scapegoat than to accept the responsibility for your own actions.

     I am not speaking from a distance here. I was once addicted to crystal meth, snorted it, sold it, baked it. No one in my family was a drug addict, so where did it come from. I chose to do it. I drank for many years, and I don’t mean small amounts. When you wake at six in the morning to get ready for work, and your breakfast is a 16 ounce budweiser, you are an alcoholic. To drink over a case (24) of beer a day was childs play. People used to ask me “What do you drink?”. My response was alcohol. It didn’t matter what kind, it didn’t matter who was buying. I drank like this for almost 20 years. Why, I chose to.

     I was at one time overweight. My BMI said I was obese. I was 5′ 7″ and weighed almost 200 pounds. I now weigh 170, mostly muscle, I drink maybe one bottle of wine once every three months, and I have been drug free since I was 20 and I am now 42. And a psychologist during my treatments for alcoholism deemed me to have a psychological disorder, simply put, an addictive personality. It doesn’t matter what I get into, I get in deep. So when you respond, keep in mind I have been there, done that, and made changes in my life to overcome all three. All by my own choice.

     I welcome any and all arguments to the contrary except, “It is not my fault…….”. Should I see that in your post, I will simply delete it and move on. Should you have a valid argument, my mind is open to being changed.

     We all have experienced the dreaded sleepless night when the next day is a work day. Upon waking, the only thought on our mind is, “I don’t want to go to work!” Then we begin a dialogue that traverses the entire morning until at the last minute, we decide, we are not going to work.

     I don’t want to go to work. I have to go to work. Work sucks and I don’t want to go. My boss will get mad at me if I don’t go. Who cares what he thinks, he’ll get over it. But if I don’t go in, the project won’t get done right or at all. Oh well, I’ll catch it up later. How much money will I lose if I take today off? Wow, that much, let me see if I can afford to take it off. No, but what the hell, live a little, right. No, you can’t be that irresponsible. Everyone else does it, why not me?…………………………………………………………On and on! I’m not going in!

     Now that that has been decided, what is my excuse? Sick, family emergency, dog chewed my tire off, hair is falling out, car won’t crank, cat peed on my clothes(all of them), I have Spring fever, I’m still drunk from last night, city is paving my street, I’m going into labor, my hair is green, my agoraphobia is kicking in,…………………………………On and on. Then you decide on the only rational excuse there is, I’m sick!

     Now all this stress actually makes you sick, so you spend the day lying around on the couch feeling guilty about calling in. This causes more stress and throughout the day, you continue to ask yourself, should I have just gone in. Now you are back to arguing with yourself again and getting more stressed out. The kicker is you can’t leave the house, because you called in sick and you can’t be seen in public in fear of being caught in a lie.

     Wouldn’t it have been easier just to go to work?

Doctor: Lack of medical helicopter cost actress – MSN Movies News.

     I was just sitting her looking through the news and I am saddened by an unexpected death of someone like Natasha Richardson. She was reported to be a good person and very giving.

     Then you have the doctors, emergency personnel and the ski instructor all trying to save their own ass and say “I did everything I could, it wasn’t my fault.” Of course the ski instructor immediately claims she rushed to the scene and vehemently urged Mrs. Richardson to go the hospital to no avail. (Obviously not her fault). Then comes the emergency personnel, what could they do, spend a half hour diagnosing that she had a problem (I believe that was already determined), then proceeded to take her to a hospital that had no head trauma specialty in their repertoire. So now we will spend another two hours to get her to the correct hospital. (Couldn’t possibly be their fault)

     Then come the beloved doctors, the fought diligently and fevershly, but to no avail. (Definately not their fault)

     Upon doing some research on epideral hematomas, I found this:

Mortality/Morbidity

Mortality rate associated with epidural hematoma has been estimated to be 5-50%.

• The level of consciousness prior to surgery has been correlated with mortality rate: 0% for awake patients, 9% for obtunded patients, and 20% for comatose patients.
• Bilateral intracranial epidural hematoma has a mortality rate of 15-20%.
• Posterior fossa epidural hematoma has a mortality rate of 26%.

As you can see, the highest mortality rate is the posterior fossa at 26%, but even a patient who is comatose (Natasha), mortality is at 20%. So now I ask you, this doctor, Montreal’s top head trauma doctor, who by the way, says “It’s impossible for me to comment specifically about her case, but what I could say is … “, is really going to try to blame this on a lack of a trauma helicopter???

     I think it is appalling that all these professionals could not stop something that at best has a 26% mortality rate, not to mention with all their rhetoric, she was injured on Monday and did not die until Wednesday, and you want to say 4 hours determined her life. I’m no neurosurgeon, but it seems the operation, although risky is still a fairly simple one. That is only my opinion. Quit trying to put the blame somewhere else and tell these people to take responsibility. Or better yet, realize, when it is your time, nothing will stop it from coming.