Scott Taylor: Creator of Life Machines

Just read the most interesting article, http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/8132857.stm . The Canadians have just figured out that if you are a negative person, just telling yourself to be happy through mantras will not make you happy, it will probably make you more depressed.

I’m 42, and for 24 of those years I have followed some of the best self help experts in the world. They all knew then that just talking to yourself will not do it. Talking is 7% of communication, tonality is 38%, the other 55% is physiology. To tell yourself that you are happy, grateful, superior, or whatever uplifting phrase you choose to use, must be said with conviction, belief that it is true, and followed by actions that support that new belief and emotion. I can tell myself that I am an astronaut. I can even say it with conviction and fake myself into believing it. However, the moment someone asks me to pilot the space shuttle, my world crumbles around me. Then I feel depressed, scared, embarrased, guilt, etc (all bad emotions), due to the fact I took no action to make my new belief a reality.

Personally, I dove into self help with no guidance other than “Unlimited Power” by Anthony Robbins. For me it was perfect, it read just like a text book,or instruction manual, if you will. That is how my brain works, very logical and methodical. Today, the self help world has gotten diluted with many people who have no idea what self help really is. It took me many years to realize just how to effectively make changes that last. My initial changes did not last. I wasn’t living the life to support my changes. And now too many self helpers think it is OK just to tell someone to tell themselves, “I am happy”.

Now, people looking to self help, should get guidance from someone who has been there, with lots of experience. I advise them to check out the person they are going to confide in. Just as the fact you would not trust your physiology to a quack doctor, definately don’t trust your brain to a quack life coach. They can cause considerably more pain than the physician, because they will create for you a life of complete turmoil, and it may become irreparable.

If you should still choose to do it on your own, remember this above all else, “You must walk the talk!”, if you don’t, you will not achieve your goal, no matter what the goal is.

As far as the Canadian researchers, sorry it took you so long to figure this out! I can give you some lessons if you like!

It is common, unfortunately, in business that the leaders of the companies generally do not know their people. They may pass each other day to day and unless there has been some drama surrounding this person, they will usually not speak except for the cordial “Hello”.

Back in the “Old Days”, this worked because it had to, and to some extent it continues today for the same reason. The bosses tend to believe that since they gave you the job, you should be grateful to them. They contolled all the power. In todays world, that just doesn’t work anymore, or should I say, work very well. With the advent of  home based businesses, the internet, iphones, etc., technology has given open doors to just about everyone. No longer does a person have to worry about not being trained in a certain field, because they can learn all about it in a day. At least enough to get through an interview and get hired.

I think the time has come, and has been here awhile, that the leaders should take much more time in making their employees feel more appreciated. The lowest staff on the proverbial “Totem Pole” is highly important to most organizations.

Take a look at the pyramid. I have nothing against the structure as long as it denotes the concept of who is supporting who. You will see that the troops are supporting the managers and leader. So it really isn’t hard to figure out who the most important people are in your organization.

I was always told and have used many times, the expression, “Take care of your tools and your tools will take care of you!” As a leader, you have to realize that the subordinates are your tools. You must keep the tools happy. You must make it so that they want to do more.

How do we do this? Well, people love to be recognized for what they do, they want to feel secure, needed, important, valuable, etc. All this can be accomplished by showing them that you are genuinely interested in them. Get to know their names, their spouses names, pets, kids, hobbies, skills, likes and dislikes. Show them that they are very important to you and the organization and that there is no fear at this time of them being let go. Just sitting with them to listen to what they have to say will say volumes. Let them speak out on isuues they may have and devise plans to help each other overcome those obstacles.

Do these things and a little more and you will be amazed at just how fast your companies attitude will turn around. Everyone will begin to enjoy coming to work, or should I say play!

There are many ways of getting spiritual guidance. None of them is foolproof. The best guidance points us in the direction of self-learning; the worst strokes our false egos or pretends to solve our problem in a flash.

Personal Consultation with a Spiritual Leader. When following a religious path, it is often customary to consult the priest, monk, or rabbi. Such one-on-one consultations also occur when following a guru, shaman, nagual, or person-with-special-spiritual-knowledge. If you believe such a consultation would be useful, then I do recommend it.

Whether they are called sages, masters, elders, crones, rebbes, gurus, shaikhs, ministers, or priests, teachers play an important part in our spiritual unfolding. They instruct directly and indirectly through stories, parables, koans, sermons, lectures, and personal example. They recommend readings in sacred texts, assign exercises and tasks to be accomplished, demonstrate devotional acts, and challenge us to reach the sacred fullness of our potential.

Of course, eventually in the spiritual life, there comes a point when we realize that everything we encounter and everyone we meet is a teacher. We can even learn from seemingly negative experiences such as difficulties, personal warps, enemies, suffering, illness, and death. The first step in this practice, then, is to choose to see all of life as a classroom filled with spiritual lessons. Be a lifelong learner who walks in humility and with receptivity.

We hate to admit it, but we keep making the same mistakes over and over again. That is why the practice of teachers is so important and so insistent. These recurrent issues mean we still have something to learn. A major obstacle to this practice, then, is pride — thinking you already know it all, that you (and perhaps you alone) have it figured out.

The shadow side of teachers is surrendering your soul to a leader or cult and giving up personal responsibility for your spiritual growth. A subtle symptom of this tendency is doubting your own judgment and needing the constant affirmation of others. A far better approach is to rejoice in the abundance of teachers, to seek their wisdom everywhere, and to have confidence that it is available and accessible to you.

I know you want to change your life, to do more. If you didn’t, you wouldn’t be reading this or embarking on this journey. You’re here to become better, to feel good, to look good, and to experience the success you know is possible.

I want to tell you right now that you can obtain it. You deserve it. I want to show you that reaching success isn’t just a dream, it’s a reality once you develop the proper mindset.

There are so many fitness books, gimmicks, and fads. They all contain some “training secret” and promise to build a better body. While some do, one aspect many of these resources have in common is how they approach fitness.

Ninety-nine percent of the information focuses on a purely physical transformation and takes an outside-in approach. They give you a program or provide a diet, and that’s it. You’re on your own. While many of these programs deliver great results, it’s still your responsibility to change your lifestyle and keep it.

On the other hand, taking an inside-out approach towards fitness (and life), working on inner strength and progressing to physical change, creates success that lasts. The mind must be strengthened first, then the body. It’s not another fad. It’s not a gimmick. There are no secrets. It becomes a lifestyle. The result? Good habits that instill success and achievement.

So what are the keys to staying healthy mentaly and physically.Well, one thing I have learned in my 43 years on this earth is that it is never one thing. But if I had to narrow it down, I would say it comes down to:

Lowering Our Mental Toxins: Dealing with our emotional baggage from the past and looking forward with an optimistic attitude. Do not bury some unresolved issues. They will only sit, fester, and rear its ugly head in the future. Deal with it now and be done with it.

Lowering Our Physical Toxins: Smoking cigarettes, keep intake of alcohol low (2-3 small drinks per week may be acceptable), cell phone radiation, pesticides, smog, recreation and prescription drugs. Do not abuse anything (even exercise). Anything in moderation is the key.

Excercise: Building muscle mass with resistance and body weight training exercises and increasing the size and power of the heart and lunges by doing cardiovascular exercise (preferably interval style).

Long distance running is not ideal for fat burning or for building a bigger heart and lunges. Look at the physique of a sprinter compared to that of a marathon runner.

Nutrition: Eating less processed foods while combining quality carbs and protein together for every meal, eating small meals often throughout the day to stabilize already normal blood sugar and insulin levels. If it is made in a plant, stay away from it. If comes from a plant, eat it

When people ask, “What do you do for fun?” Most of us have to think real quick because, What is fun?

Fun is:
* Relaxation, stress reduction
* Sense of humor, lightness
* A recess from the responsibilities of life
* Leisure time
* Recreational activities
* Hobbies
* Volunteer activities
* Sanity in the midst of severe emotional distress (and vice versa)
* Making time for yourself
* Athletic or physical exercise

What are some barriers to having fun?

* Poor time management
* Overly serious attitude, you can’t get out of this life alive, lighten up
* A lack of perspective regarding responsibilities
* Never had healthy role models for having fun
* Too busy, you know, all work and no play…..
* Lack of financial resources
* Irrational belief system
* Lack of permission from self, partner, family or others to take the time to have fun
* Lack of receptivity to fun activity
* Misconceptions about what fun is

What beliefs are barriers to having fun?

* It is selfish to indulge in personal, fun things.
* It takes away from family unity to indulge in individual, fun activities.
* One must maintain a serious outlook on life in order to survive.
* Athletics are just for “jocks.”
* You should never engage in anything work-like unless you are paid for it.
* Taking care of oneself is OK for the “other guy” but not for me.
* To have fun takes a lot of money. Only the rich have fun.
* Fun is illusive or unobtainable.
* The only fun things are immoral, illicit, illegal or fattening.
* Fun and play is bad if it becomes an end in itself.
* I feel so guilty when I’m doing nothing and just relaxing.
* The only real relaxation is sleep.
* I don’t have time for fun.
* Having fun at work or school is foolish, immature and irresponsible.
* I can’t relax when I have nothing to do.
* What will people think of me if they see me acting so unprofessional!
* It’s OK to have fun once in awhile, but you have to come back to reality.
* It is impossible to have fun when you are loaded down with all my responsibilities.
* A fun activity is such a waste of time!
* I’ll wait until I retire to enjoy myself.
* We can’t relax until we are financially secure.
* You have got to be crazy to enjoy that!
* One must be “serious” about one’s extracurricular activities to be a successful, to be a winner.
* How can I maintain my image of authority if I have fun with my children, co-workers, students, etc.
* It is impossible to coordinate everyone’s schedule so that we can have fun times together.
* The only way I can have fun is to be drinking, using drugs, gambling, eating, shopping, having sex, smoking or working.

What are some strategies to having fun?

* Nurture your sense of humor by looking at the light side of your serious concerns.
* Schedule time on a daily or weekly basis for fun, including: individual fun time, couple fun time, co-worker fun time, family fun time.

Determine which extracurricular activities are fun for the sake of:
* you
* health
* competition
* others
* work
* fun itself

Once you have made your list and determined to have fun, create a balance time-wise between these six types of fun:

* Try one new hobby, athletic activity or fun time experience per day, week, month or year.
* Budget a certain amount of money each week for fun activities.
* Use the weekend newspapers for tips on free fun things to do.
* Sleep until noon one day each year. You deserve it.
* Create a list of alternative fun things to do and post it on your bathroom mirror as a reminder.
* Create a notebook and record all funny jokes, quotes, quips and comments you have heard in a day.

Use the notebook as a reference to lighten up your serious discussions at home or work.
* Brainstorm fun activities you wouldn’t do ordinarily. Use your creativity, ingenuity and imagination in this task.

James J Messina, PhD

It’s hard to speak a lot on this category, because everyones goals monetarily are different. The strategies to get there also vary greatly. I can say this though, you have to have financial goals. If you were to not set goals in this area, you may never be able to provide your family and yourself the things that make life easier.

When you sit to do these goals, dream big. Dream of all the things you want when you retire. Then start making a plan to get there. You’ll need to do a step by step write up in how you are going to get these items. I will be posting more on different strategies as I build this site.

Everyone, regardless of age, should already be setting a certain amount of their pay aside everyweek. There are many places to put this money, mutual funds, tax free annuities, Keogh accounts, CD’s, 401k’s, and the list goes on. Don’t miss out on a great retirement by not getting this started right now.

When I do coaching for individuals, one of the feelings I like to know about first is, how you feel about your family life. Inevitably, I always get, “It’s ok!” What does that mean, it’s ok. Ok is not a feeling. How do you feel about your family. This should bring up emotions such as; love, admiration, pride, joy, nervousness, neglect, etc.

If you are a goal striving person, why is it that almost always, the family is last. At least they are last to get attention. Most of our time is spent on our career. This is simply because we need money to support the family and their goals. I ask you now to stop and really think about the emotions that your family allows you the opportunity to feel. They should all be good emotions, joy, happiness, love, etc, . If they are not, and I guarantee they aren’t yet, we’ve got work to do.

Setting family goals should be a top priority. Family is your base support, and we all know you need a strong base. When we have that base, there is nothing we can’t accomplish. The base will sometimes even help you achieve your goal. You must remember, when all else fails in your life, your family should be what holds you up. Would your family support you through a minor life crisis right now, or would you get the “I told you so!” speech.

How would it feel if you came home from the boss having “ripped you a new one” with the threat of firing you, and your family group says it’s ok. They look at you and say, no matter what, we love you and support you. Then they go on an all out spree to make you feel better. A massage from the spouse, dinner cooked by the teenage kids, bubble bath drawn by the little ones, or even going out to dinner and then a game of putt-putt, your favorite. That is how a family should react when another member is down. Not the typical, “You better stay away from him/her, they had a bad day!”

Don’t stay away from your family, embrace them. Schedule outings with just the family. Set you some family oriented goals, I promise you won’t be disappointed!!

There are many processes that go into a streamlined way of living. Here are just a few.

1. If you haven’t seen it or used it in 6 months, get rid of it. This would mean all those little things you collect and say “Someday I’ll need this.” The only thing I will stretch this rule for is clothes. Even then, on 80% of all your clothes, if you have not worn it in a year, it needs to go. Be kind to our environment and if you can recycle, please do
2. Everything has it’s place, put it there. So many times I see that the clutter only comes from the fact that you leave things laying wherever you happen to have been, not where the item belongs. This rule has far reaching effects in items being lost, so money spent replacing it, and time spent searching for it. And Time is Money!
3. Stay clean. Enough cannot be said about this rule. Simply put, you will waste time by not being clean. Being clean will make you want to be in your place. Whether that is home, cubicle, closet, wherever. You can’t be organized without being clean, and you can’t be clean without being organized.
4. Arrange things where your movement to get them is minimized. This rule applies to every room in the house or business. In the kitchen ladies, and I understand aesthetics, put the knives where you will do the cutting, put the glasses in the cabinet next to the fridge, getting my drift. In business put the stapler next to the copier, the trash can next to the kitchen. Make your desk like the driver seat of your car, so that you barely have to move to get to anything.
5. When you start a project, finish it. Sometimes projects are large and will span several days. If this happens, divide the project into sections that can be completed within a day. Then follow the rule for that particular section. Nothing will slow you down more than having to figure out where you left off and then get back into the zone. By dividing the project, you can enter the zone much more quickly knowing that all was completed the day before.
6. If it doesn’t have a place, you either throw out one thing to make space, or you just don’t get it. This is my most important rule. Follow this rule and clutter will not be able to develop.

Here is a very important rule to follow, which takes courage to practice, streamline your friends, acquaintancesand staff too. If they are holding you back, don’t spend time with them, or even better yet, get rid of them. Since 80% of your work is done by 20% of your staff, and 80% of your time is spent with 20% of your friends, spend your time with that 20%. Do not reward poor performance by giving underachievers your attention. This sounds harsh, but I promise their spot will be filled when you let them go. Remember, you only have so many spots available, use them wisely and get rid of the downers! Your closest friends and best staff should be the ones who lift you the highest and you should return that favor to them.

I thoroughly believe one of the most important rules to follow if you are going to make changes in your life is; “Quit blaming everyone else for your problems. Whether your delimma is weight, finances, personal relationships, lack of time………the list could go on forever, it is all within your control. We as humans find it very hard to accept blame. Part of our genetic makeup is “Fight or Flight”. Your mind does the same thing, and more often than not it decides “flight”.

The moment you decide that you are in control, you will make the changes necessary to get just what you want. The information to do so is already in your brain. You are just keeping it in a closet. LET IT OUT!!!!! Is it your bosses responsibility to give you more money? No. It is your responsibility to earn it! Is it anyone elses responsibility to tell you what to eat, how much and when to excercise? NO. You must make these decisions for yourself! Personal Relationships? It is up to you to decide how you will treat others and if they treat you bad in return, it is your responsibility to fix that or be rid of the person.

I mention the above three because they seem to be most common in peoples lives. If someone treats you bad, you are letting them do so. If your boss doesn’t give you that pat on the back, you didn’t earn it. If you are overweight or obese, no one is going to pick you up and make you get off that couch.

Repeat this over and over to yourself; “I am the only one who knows what I will lose, if I don’t make this change!”